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Does Conflict Unveil Our Unconscious Bias?

Like many others, soap operas are a background noise to my evening routine when pottering around after dinner when the evenings draw in. Recently whilst half listening to a popular soap, I heard my daughter draw a sharp gasp of air. I instantly asked her what had happened.

Apparently a heterosexual character X had unwittingly become entangled in a love triangle with a heterosexual female Y and a “gay” male Z and a fight had ensued. Following the fight, the now angry heterosexual character spieled out a torrent of homophobic abuse to the gay character which spilled out onto the street. It appears that this is what my daughter had been gasping at.

I considered this scene, in that this behaviour was in conflict with X’s usual character. He was generally considered to be a lovely young man with “no side to him”. His character also has a gay brother and a gay best friend. Indeed through these connections X, Y and Z had previously been very good friends.

I wondered, as social commentators what was in the script writer’s minds when they wrote that scene?

I realised that the scene demonstrated that during conflict and times of high emotional pressure individuals will refer to negative stereotypes to hurt and offend others and to justify a root cause for the perceived negative behaviour of their partner in conflict. This occurs even when this course of action does not form part of an individual’s usual behaviour.

This is based on the theory that we do not have to believe in a stereotype to be affected by it we just have to have knowledge of the stereotype.

It is also based on the theory that, during times of immense stress, pressure and emotional overload our rational brain takes a back seat to our emotional brain which becomes flooded with emotions, like a burst flood defence. When this occurs our usual resolve and emotional constraint can go out of the window, resulting in a negative impact.

If we are honest with ourselves, we may acknowledge that we have caught ourselves expressing biases in situations of pressure which focus on difference and perhaps even surprise us. Where did that come from we wonder? If this is not true of our usual behaviour; the answer is our unconscious mind.

How many of us can say that they have never expressed a bias either silently, or loudly or to someone who we expect to understand and share our views?

If we are to role model positive equality behaviours and eliminate prejudice, this surely starts with ourselves and requires both the control of our emotions as well as the control of our minds.

Contact: Denise @ http://www.dmttraining.co.uk or email: info@dmttraining.co.uk Follow my blog for articles on: leadership, communication, personal development coaching, equalities, change and careers, or follow me on twitter

 

 

Visioning – A Solution to the Recession – 15 Strategies to Achieving an Inspiring Vision

 

Visioning – A Solution to the Recession – 15 Strategies to Achieving an Inspiring Vision

The following article highlights the importance of visioning in goal setting and explains how its related concepts can contribute to personal/team and organizational achievement, in particular during the recession.

Vision setting

Vision setting is a key strategy in the achievement of your goals. A goal is a dream with a deadline, people with goals move ahead, people without goals work with people with goals, Brian Tracey.

A vision is a statement of intention, the manifestation and desired end result or outcome of our desires.

A vision is also a motivational tool. Management theorists describe two theories of motivation: content theories and process theories. Content theories describe what motivates us and process theories describe how we are motivated. Visioning sits with process theories, it’s a strategy to motivate us.

Visioning also has links to religious, faith and cultural beliefs. In Christianity heaven could be described as a vision of the ideal outcome after death. For believers it’s about their own personal vision of heaven or its anti thesis hell. In theory for a believer the desire to achieve the manifestation of their vision in heaven acts as a motivator for their behaviour on earth.

Individuals who believe in cosmic ordering also believe that your vision is your statement of your desires and in order to achieve your vision you have to articulate it and tell “the universe” what you really want. The principle behind it is that individuals believe that they can use their desires to connect with the “cosmos” and make their desires a reality. The Right Reverend Carl Cooper rejects cosmic ordering as nonsense, though interestingly he describes it as goal setting using spiritual language.

Visioning is our first strategy, the foundation on which the journey towards our goal takes place. It is also a key performance indicator (KPI) in relation to the achievement of our goal. A vision is also a measuring tool.

In his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey says that we should start with the end in mind. We should begin with the vision.

Leadership theorists such as Follett and Peters have emphasised the importance of visioning in leadership performance. Coaching gurus such as David Rock highlight the importance of visioning for individuals in the goal setting process of coaching.

Visioning is a strategy by which we can communicate our dreams and desires both internally to ourselves and also to others.

Take a few moments to describe your vision in an area of your life that matters to you, eg. Relationships, finances, career

How effective were you at describing this vision?

Was your vision clear?

If we were to question what we do when we don’t have a vision, many of us would agree that we go through the motions, we undertake activities habitually and often waste: time, energy and resources with no clear purpose.

I’ve done this on occasions at the weekend, I’ve had a vague vision about taking a break, getting some fresh air, going shopping or taking a wander and not known clearly where or what I want to do to achieve this. It’s quite disconcerting, not having a route map, how do you plan your journey? Which way do you turn at the junction, right, left or do you go straight on? When will you know that you have reached your desired destination?

The benefits of creating a clear vision mean that: you have a tool to motivate and inspire you on your journey, the end point is clear; you can measure your achievement and articulate your vision to others when required.

Can you easily articulate your vision to others?

A clear vision is one which you can easily articulate. Men and women of great historical importance have influenced others by clearly articulating their vision. Martin Luther King expressed his vision for equality and civil rights in America with his “I have a dream speech”. He used the term dream and as such our visions are our dreams until we put strategies in place to make them a reality.

If a vision were to be described as a plant it would be the root and also the flower. A vision could be described as a foundation, the outcome, the manifestation of growth, nurture, hardiness and nourishment. In the plant world, weeds grow in most places irrespective of the conditions. Other blooms, such as lilies take more nurture, effort and care to yield results.
In the same way an inspiring vision requires: nurture, care, effort and nourishment over a period of time to come into full bloom. An inspiring vision will rarely thrive if it is left to it’s own devices.

10 steps to creating a vision and releasing the inner child

1. Allow yourself to be childlike

Our brains are divided into three areas, leading to three types of intelligence: our rational brain (IQ), our emotional brain or emotional intelligence and our spiritual brain or spiritual intelligence.

Our rational intelligence (IQ) is clearly under developed in childhood. Our emotional intelligence (EI) which is concerned with the management of our emotions and the emotions of others is also developing, though Danile Goldman in his book Emotional Intelligence, reported high degrees of emotional intelligence and empathy in toddlers.

It is possible that our spiritual intelligence is at its natural peak during childhood and declines as our rational intelligence develops. Spiritual intelligence is related to that part of the brain which allows us to hope and dream and visualise. For many children nothing is impossible in their vivid imaginations, it is easy to be transported to a dream world at the drop of a hat. In this dream world we can believe without evidence in concepts and people that exist within the power of our imagination.

2. Create a conducive environment

Time, space and focus are essential for creating a vision.
Ensure that you won’t be interrupted by any communication from anyone not involved in your visioning process. Take some time to take deep breathes both in and out before the process takes place. The act of breathing in oxygen and breathing out carbon monoxide helps to clear and focus your brain and inject some energy to support the thinking and visualisation process.

3. Think about what you want, as opposed to what you don’t want

Visions should be set in a positive context as opposed to a negative. Visions should depict what you want to happen as opposed to what you don’t want to happen. This works by using positive visualisation as opposed to negative reinforcement. For example, if a woman wanted to lose weight so that she could fit into her dream wedding dress, it would be more motivating to create a vision of what she wanted to look like rather than what she didn’t want to look like. The former will encourage positive feelings of encouragement, while the latter uses negative reinforcement.

4. Reflect on success

Have a practice run, visualise happiness and success by reflecting back to an occasion when you were really happy, such as: a holiday, celebration, examination success or a new exciting job offer. Try and picture the occasion in your mind, run through the events scene by scene and try and remember and engage the positive feelings that you had. Transfer these good feelings to your current vision.

5. Dream in HD

Practice having HD quality dreams with a sharp picture quality and extensive detail. Replay this vision in blue ray DVD quality remembering to incorporate, sounds, feelings, smells and tastes if relevant.

6. Be your own film director

Your vision should be focused on what will happen when your dream becomes a reality. Detail is important and your dreams should reflect this. If your vision is in relation to a particular event, create every scene from preparation, content, other actors, colours, smells, feelings and conversations.

7. Don’t allow your dreams to be limited

Freud describes our rational mind as the ego. This limits our thinking and our behaviour, it doesn’t allow us to express our selves in the way in which our instinct may wish to; it suppresses our instincts through mind control. The ego will send a message to your brain saying that our dreams and desires are irrational, unreasonable, impossible, outrageous or just plain wrong. It is our rational adult voice and perhaps according to Bryne in his theory of Transactional Analysis, the voice of our critical parent. By contrast there are links between spiritual intelligence and Freud’s Super Id, the part of our personality which allows us to follow our desires.

8. Consider what you will have when you achieve your vision

It’s important to take time to consider the reality of your vision and what you will have when you achieve it. Is it something that you really want? There is an old saying that states “be careful what you wish for, it may come true”. Considering what you will have when you achieve your vision is an opportunity to road test your vision to see if it’s what you would like in reality. You may have set your heart on a particular career, relationship or other life choice. The reality of this choice may mean that though you were inspired to achieve the goal, it may not be sustainable in the long term.

9. Have faith in your vision

Faith could be described as a belief in something that cannot be evidenced. This relates to your ability to maintain the belief in what may seem to be the intangible or the impossible. Individuals with a high level of positive believe and persistence or self effacy are more likely to achieve their goals. For some individuals a high level of self effacy is natural for others this may be learned. This is described by many theorists including Martin Siegman in his theory of learned optimism. Again this is also related to the theory of emotional intelligence. In his book on Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goldman describes how emotional intelligence can be a predictor of success over and above IQ. He reports that studies showed that emotionally intelligent individuals were often more successful than those with a higher IQ.

10. Write your vision down

A written statement of your vision in a visible place will help you to maintain focus on your goal, in particular if it’s somewhere where you’ll see it at least once a day. Again advocates of Cosmic Ordering believe that this action is putting your desires out to the universe. For those who are not fans of Cosmic Ordering or familiar with this theory, the action of focusing on your vision will ensure that your focus remains on your vision and you are more likely to achieve it.

11. Reflect on your written vision at least four times a week.

If your vision is in a visual place, you can read it, measure yourself and assess your progress against it and remind yourself of what you will need to do to ensure that your vision becomes live. We have heard that focusing on your vision, gives you a much better chance of obtaining success. Replay the dvd that you have made of your vision at least twice a week, remembering to dream without limitations.

12. Plan for limiting beliefs

If negative imagines enter your mind during these dreams make a note of them after your dream session is over. This may be your subconscious highlighting you to a challenge in your vision which may need to be addressed. Don’t allow any negative emotions associated with the thought to disturb your vision. Assure yourself that you will consider the challenge in a solutions focused way when the dream is over

13. Develop a route map to your vision

You will need to determine the journey that you need to take to achieve your vision or final destination. If you visiting a major city anywhere in the world and you were taking a journey across the city using the underground and were unfamiliar with the underground system, it would make sense to obtain a journey planner and plan your route. Without a route map the journey would be likely to be considerably longer. The costs to you of taking the journey without a plan would be likely to be irritation, frustration, tiredness, demotivation and fatigue.

14. Get a coach

The right coach will support you in accelerating your progress towards your vision. Coaching is an investment as opposed to an expense. If your vision is inspiring and something that you really want, what is the cost of not investing in a coach to support you in realising your dreams?

A coach can cheer you on, inspire you and stretch you towards the achievement of your vision.

How much do you want to give your life/team/service/organization the X factor this year?

15. Celebrate your success

Create a plan to celebrate your success at the start of your goals setting progress. Ensure that you acknowledge and congratulate yourself for the journey that you’ve been on to achieve your vision.

Denise McCausland is an Organizational Development Consultant and Executive/Life Coach and Personal Empowerment speaker and writer. She is the founder and managing associate of DMT Training, London

Denise McCausland, DMT Training 2010 ©